The Power is You.
Beyond Good. Beyond Evil.
I do not know why humans are designed to suffer. In the most flourishing phases of our life, there are days and moments of immense suffering like some shard constantly fixed inside of our body, too close to the heart. Close enough to hurt, but never so close to killing.
In those moments of immense pain and suffering, there is a pain that the body can feel which is nothing like any other sensation we feel. It is silent and it is consistent, it is a hole, the same hole that is drilled deeper and deeper.
The faces change, the memories remain, the experiences change, but the sheer quality of emotions inside us is like an unending circle. It is the same emotions repeated over and over again and again throughout mortal life.
My spiritual understanding of life is evolving further and further into a singular point of nothingness. That point is very scary, that point I sometimes see in my dreams, sometimes with my foggy yet naked eyes, sometimes in the faces of people running about doing whatever they do; endlessly chasing around the tail of that circle.
Sometimes my old rusted soul really gets immersed in those books, and as I read through every word, every mountain and plain that is described, every character that is built, the mundaneness that is foiled around these stories to show us the true character of humans, it appears to me that the elevation of the soul is a tumultuous tiring and painstakingly humongous process.
In such a journey it is easier and healthier to assume there is a happy ending, the endings are all we are chasing. The morose foundations of such revelations are beyond life and death. It is beyond what is thoughtfully taught to us in this birth and in the others that have gone by and that are to come.
Love, I believe, after every way I have loved and the ways I have not allowed them to love me, is a faint, faint fire in this nothingness. Maybe that was the spark that got one black hole to lit up and expand to a whole new universe.
Maybe it is truly the satisfaction of my soul and the peace my fingers feel when I put that period at the end of every piece I write. Maybe it is the unbelievably beautiful corners of otherworldly realms you travel with the music. Maybe it is what is to be meant and to become.
Yet we hurt, yet we hurt and we keep hurting from inside. Keep falling into a darkness nobody can see within us but ourselves. We, humans, kill and we salvage every opportunity of redemption nature provides us. It is truly, unlike what most people would like to believe and see, truly the most inhumane times to be alive.
So much power have we attained in our own hands, so much depth have we simmered into our own selves, so much anger have we contained and so much pain have we survived we have been twisted with those experiences and moulded into an oblivious generation of endless frivolous hopes while we keep transferring our energies into extremely deaf corners of the universe. Deaf to these selfish askings and giving, rather misgivings.
In that cruel world of such ghastly adventures in the name of living, there are also some quiet moments. The uprising of the strength in the bones and the spirit, fighting against both the good and the evil it carries within itself. Those moments of solitude and strength move every cell of our body against every pain we have given and we have felt. These moments are so unique, I am yet to find a writer to describe them in words so true they would shudder the energy spectrum of the whole universe to sync with the energy of those words.
In all suffering and pain, we find kindness and love, peace and strength, giving and caring, learning and evolving.
That power is you. And it shall always be. Neither your good nor your evil will be your guide. It will be you, a realm beyond those two pedestals.
So remember you are the power, not what you show, not what you feel, but what you nurture. Kindness, caring, giving, fighting and living.
Amen!
